The Summer of our Discontent
Led me to write a political Rap Song?
This has been the shortest and coldest summer of my long life, ‘Climate Change’ notwithstanding. Every week, the propaganda industrial complex churned out more dire warnings about heat heat heat and how we might survive it. Somehow, that had the effect of ushering in a remarkably cool, short, and distempered summer here on the west coast of Canada. It’s a relief to know that at least the weather gods do not listen to propaganda…that is, not yet.
What we did get instead of hot temperatures, was hot political shenanigans and moaning about how we’re losing our ‘democracy’. Folks, we waste an enormous amount of time arguing about it, worrying about it, accusing the others guys of ruining it, etc etc. We’ve lost our sense of the absurd because nobody is even attempting to laugh any more. Instead, everyone seems convinced that the American election will be ‘stolen’ or at the very least, tampered with to such a degree to render it moot. Some of my friends believe that there won’t be an election at all. Some manufactured ‘emergency’ will be used to short circuit the democratic process. I say Stop Already! All this Angst is not helping.
Read a good book instead, like the burglar who got engrossed in a retelling of the Iliad while burgling! The universe is satirical, I tell you.
https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cvg4kpv3p4zo?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email
To be sure, there have already been plenty of signs that evil doings are afoot, what with an assassination attempt and a bloodless coup. And to give the naysayers their due, the American voting system is a shambles ripe for the picking. What with hackable voting machines and corrupted officials, yes, things could go wrong, once again. So what can we do? Far be it from me to offer ‘solutions’. I’m not that smart and I’m not a political writer at all.
I’m a no good, useless satirist. The kind of person who prefers laughter to tears and loves bad puns. Therefore, I’m not going to add to the general election malaise. But just to make you feel better, I thought I’d try my hand at a rap song—something I’ve never attempted before. Because this born-in-the Bronx art form needs a few crazy old ladies to give it an edge; too many young black dudes busting rhymes. So predictable! Old white woman writing Rap, now that’s different. I know I need a rap sheet to be genuine, and I’m working on that. Yo, you better believe it. ‘Cause the question is, can you write Rap without a rap? You tell me, sistas and bros…
RAPPIN’ FOR DEMO-CRAZY
So Yo, the Fat Lady is Rappin’ For Demo-crazy! She singin’/Go vote, get smart
Old Farts, Young Dudes, Bitches/you’all gotta vote so don’t be lazy/don’t be late/ get it straight/let’s not hate
Word Up/You gotta save Demo-crazy
Because I’m tellin you, there’s trouble/Right here in the City/Right here in Canada/
Right here in Amurrica the pretty
Word! Gotta save our Li/ber/ty
In deep shit since 9/11/Whatever happened/ to Building Seven/We know it though don’t show it/It’s old news yeah but it’s still hot/the devil dancing/Evil prancin’ in the streets of my city
Word! Don’t get mad get even
Old Greek Dudes knew it was a/Hot lot/hard to handle Candle/ in the wind/Don’t go trippin’ down Commie Street/We tried that thing/it’s not sweet/Watch your head/when bullets fly/O My
Word! Fight Fight Fight
Only thing left is voting day/Hey! Go save demo-crazy/In the final hazy days of freedom/When we meet our fate/They steal the election/with dirty defection/no more counting ballots, we got bullets
Word! Fat lady’s singin’/But it’s not over, no, fights never over/meanwhile
Let’s make music for the cows/They look happy music’s sappy
Get in tune, go vote sista, make it soon
No more ruin, it’s all over/It’s all over
But for curious cows in clover in clover in clover