The Time of the Cricket
Canada once again leads the way to a glorious progressive future
This post is supposed to make you smile and have a good day. Please let me know if I succeeded!
But first, here is an excerpt from an article in The National Post, Canada’s Not Woke newspaper of record:
Just two years after the Trudeau government put up nearly $9 million to help build the world’s largest edible cricket factory, the facility is dramatically cutting staff and production in what they say is an extended retooling.
Aspire Food Group, which cut the ribbon last year on a 150,000-square-foot edible cricket factory in London, Ont., has just laid off two thirds of its workforce and significantly cut back shifts, saying they need to make “some improvements to its manufacturing system.”
This kind of news is so hard to swallow (pun times!) that I can only think about it in fairy tale form. It also seems appropriate to a country that, according to our heroic Prime Minister, no longer exists because he has decided that we are ‘post nationalist’ . He and his illiberal Liberals can only be understood in a context of fabulism where anything may happen…and does, quite regularly. As in Fairy Tales. A true fairy tale has a guaranteed Happy Ending. But maybe this is a fake Fairy Tale? You decide…
Once upon a time in The Kingdom of the North, there was a handsome King who ruled because he wanted to save the world. His throne was in a city called Ottawaka, said to be colder than Moscawaka itself. This King whose name was Justintime Troody, felt that letting his subjects eat anything they wanted was a grave error. He knew that it was dangerous to human health and the health of the planet and he was going to fix it, oh yes he was. So he did his research and discovered that eating a certain cricket bug was a wonderful solution to the urgent problem of wrongeating.
So he ventured forth liberally sprinkling money on those subjects who were anxious to please him and build big, Happy Bug Factories. It was so Cricket! The people rejoiced; they had always wanted to change their diet because they were getting fat anyway. Eating a bug named Cricket would solve the obesity crisis and the problem with farming animals, killing two birds with one stone. So the word went out that Crickets were progressive, cheap and crunchy! The right people could see the beauty of it and only the wrongthink people misunderstood. But this was a temporary glitch, the great King Troody thought. In time and with the right kind of talk and plenty of money, the wrongthink minority could be brought round to the right side of things, he was certain. So more money was released, and more rightthink words floated and more crickets raised. This went on for a long time. But for some strange reason, some people just didn’t want to eat the crunchy crickets, even if they came with chocolate! It was a mystery wrapped in a bug enigma. Until one day, the great King Troody found himself dethroned and they just mothballed him, along with the crickets, the factory, and the very idea. And ever since then, Happy Days have returned to the Kingdom of the North. Though it was still cold has hell half of the year.
THE END